Well I am now 7dp3dt (7 days past a 3 day transfer) so my embabies are 10 days old.
I am scared. I feel like this time we need it to happen more than the past 2 times. I don’t know if I should be feeling anything, because I am not. Between 2dp3dt and 4dp3dt I felt a little cramping. I hope it was implantation cramping but I am scared it wasn’t. Now I really don’t feel much of anything except a little cramping sometimes after I eat. And you know, I am highly sensitive to any feelings I get right now so I may get light cramping after I eat every time and just have never noticed it before. The only other symptom I am having is sore boobies (ok don’t laugh) but I know from past experiences that is only the progesterone.
I am back and forth on if I am going to do a HPT (Home Pregnancy Test). On one hand I would like to do it and know, but what if it is a false positive or a false negative. I just don’t know, it seems like it would be counter productive either way. On the other hand I hate the call from the nurse on the day of BETA telling me by blood-work came back negative. I don’t know if knowing sooner would make that pill easier to swallow or not. Hopefully we get a positive this time but that negative is always looming in the background.
What if we get a negative this time? Honestly, I don’t know. I do know that I am going to have to take a break no matter what. Physically my body can handle this, Financially we have AWESOME insurance, but emotionally, emotionally I am getting beat up. Just typing this sentence I have tears building in my eyes. I don’t want to think about next time, but with the past as my only reference I don’t have a lot of choices. Do we try it again? and if so this year? next? or do we just start saving and move on to adoption. I don’t know that answer and I won’t know it for a while, but the question is looming.
Anyways…. Hopefully we will get our BFP (Big Fat Pregnancy) this time and those questions won’t matter.
Gotta run for now, Have a great weekend everyone!